I'd wear matching sweaters with you
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
