Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize