There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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