we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
