also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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