found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
