You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
