I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
