i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
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