Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
