It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
