So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
