Just cropdusted the office
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize