I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
