in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Shame is for Republicans.
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