we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I can't turn off my feet"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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