there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
