i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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