she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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