I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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