i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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