I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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