By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
