omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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