I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
