i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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