I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Randomize
