i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I wish I only lived at night.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
