you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize