So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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