My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
