The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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