State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
