Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
