So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Randomize
