If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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