rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
last night I used snow as a chaser
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