I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
