Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
