Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low

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(704): so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low http://tfl.nu/2nm4

Replies (4) Good night (885) Bad night (1659)
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(207): View more from Maine

it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.

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(207): it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck. http://tfl.nu/q2n8

Replies (80) Good night (984) Bad night (5967)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.

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(215): Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous (610): Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference. http://tfl.nu/p378

Replies (13) Good night (2250) Bad night (794)
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(734): View more from Michigan

airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.

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(734): airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american. http://tfl.nu/pd31

Replies (11) Good night (3238) Bad night (743)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.

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(703): Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea. http://tfl.nu/zyyz

Replies (17) Good night (938) Bad night (3385)
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(404): View more from Georgia

He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.

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(404): He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful. http://tfl.nu/q2qd

Replies (22) Good night (9719) Bad night (1195)
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(516): View more from New York

That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.

(1-516): View more from New York

yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.

(516): View more from New York

Do you have to put it that way?

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(516): That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him. (1-516): yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him. (516): Do you have to put it that way? http://tfl.nu/hbgy

Replies (21) Good night (6368) Bad night (1092)
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(906): View more from Michigan

Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies

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(906): Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies http://tfl.nu/62p5

Replies (12) Good night (4274) Bad night (1179)
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(360): View more from Washington

Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.

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(360): Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE. http://tfl.nu/0hus

Replies (10) Good night (1832) Bad night (783)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.

(1-615): View more from Tennessee

Youre getting too old for this

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(615): Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame. (1-615): Youre getting too old for this http://tfl.nu/7foh

Replies (5) Good night (1602) Bad night (756)
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(719): View more from Colorado

Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.

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(719): Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming. http://tfl.nu/flfj

Replies (5) Good night (1641) Bad night (581)
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(516): View more from New York

My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?

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(516): My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently? http://tfl.nu/xsqm

Replies (5) Good night (625) Bad night (1014)
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(416): View more from Toronto

Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.

(416): View more from Toronto

NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.

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(416): Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement. (416): NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada. http://tfl.nu/6stg

Replies (6) Good night (1636) Bad night (470)
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(801): View more from Utah

At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost

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(801): At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost http://tfl.nu/j4xa

Replies (1) Good night (510) Bad night (413)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians

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(541): Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians http://tfl.nu/wfuy

Replies (3) Good night (229) Bad night (380)

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