exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?