im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
