Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize