Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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