from now on my penis is your penis
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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