I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
