Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
