he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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