wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
