i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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