Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize