dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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