Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
