What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
