I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
