Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
high people should be assigned attendants
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
