Do you still have your period?
i already hear my dad disowning me
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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