i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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