Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
