what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.