You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
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they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
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But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.