her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa