If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
