Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize