TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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